Flaming purple moon
by eowyn-gryfindor
Summary: Starts from begining of new moon. is kind of like a spoof.im not good at summaries but give me a chance!
1. Chapter 1 Wake up or kick her butt

**Blue Moon**

**Don't own Twilight (I wish!), Bella, Edward etc.**

I was 55.0012 percent sure I was crazy. The reasons were,

I was standing in bright moon light, oh wait that's the sun, never mind.

My grandma Marie was gazing fondly at me.

Why is #2 crazy you ask? Well, Grandma Marie hates me w/ a passion, and plus, shes dead.

Grams hadn't changed much, (besides the smile) same cold blue eyes, starch white hair, and same hard muscles beneath her red workout shirt ( Grams thoroughly believed in spanking). I was about to ask why she was smiling, when Edward called,

"Bella, dearest, who is _she_?"

"Oh Edsie darling, her name is Bella too. (**whispering**) Don't you think you should put your shirt on? We don't want to spill our little secret do we?" I was surprised to her Grams say.

"B-but, Edward," I stammered, "_I'm _your Bella" OK now I'm _sure_ that I'm either crazy, or in a dream, cuz 1. I NEVER stammer, and 2. I would have just kicked Grams' if she said anything like that to Edward, not _talk_.

"Oh dear, you must be confused. This is Edward, my boy-er- Grandson." Grams said. That's it. I'm waking up or breaking Grams face.

"!"


	2. Chapter 2 Emo vampire

Edward's not mine (lol) or twilight or anything else...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!" I screamed as loud as I could, knowing I talk in my sleep and Edward would most likely wake me.

I felt arms shaking me and said sleepily, "Thanks Edward."

**(gag) **"Bella, are you okay?" asked a (strangled) familiar, but wrong, voice.

"Dad?" I asked incredulously. Oh crap. Charlie must have heard me scream and came in as Edward split.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me. Don't think I'll do this every day, though. Now go downstairs and make me a chicken, egg,and cheese omelet. Hurry up now, you only have ten minuets!" Charlie got up and walked to the door. Ten minuets! I've done a lot for him, but this is the worst.

"Whatever Dad." I murmured, shooting out of bed, quickly sprinting to my small, inadequate dresser while Charlie left the room. I chose a light blue camisole under a white short-sleeved scoop-necked tee-shirt, with faded jeans. I speed-showered, brushed my teeth and made 2 omelets, before leaving for school.

"Crap. I'm late." I huffed it was 7:32 (yes, school starts at 8:00. Edward likes for me to be there _before_ the bell). I saw Edward's perfect frame leaning against his '52 ford compact, (he's really old fashioned. He just hates my farari.) with something shiny in his hand. Oh yeah! Today's my 18th B-day! Yay! I love birthdays, especially mine! I skipped up to him.

"So, what did you get me?" I asked him.

"Nothing much, just got Alice to throw a party for you." He, said, barely able to control his anticipation for my answer.

Alice, you see, is great at throwing parties but doesn't like throwing them. She's going through this Emo vamp phase.

"OmiGosh!" I shrieked, throwing my arms around Edward's waist.

(**cough, cough.**)" Surprise. Happy Birthday Bella."


	3. Ch 3 Crap, thats gonna leave a mark!

**Hey! I'm back! Don't own twilight or anything else. . . love reviews, please write one (or comments)**

"Surprise. Happy birthday Bella."

Speak of the Devil and he shall come.

"Hi Alice! Thank you SO much!"

"Shh, you'll ruin my reputation. Only a few close friends right? Nothing big?"

"Ya, definitely!"

"Alright, how many?"

"One...Two...Three."

"Only three people? Wow you really cut back!"

"No silly, Three _hundred_ people!"

"Um, Bella, sweet, don't you think that's a bit ,well, _much_? Alice, that's enough! No killing, _or_ mauling Bella." Edward butted in.

"Time to get to class, here comes Mr. Green." Alice said darkly, stomping to the main door.

"Come on Bella, shes not mad with you, it's just this _phase_ shes going through. Soon she'll be back to her normal self." Edward said, reaching for my hand. I snatched it, pulling him to the door (which is very hard thing to do, considering he's a rock and all).

Once in math class, I forgot all about Alice and started dreaming about my Birthday party.

"Bella, say 87." Edward whispered, intruding on my thoughts.

"Bella, the answer?" Mr. Switsher, my math teacher, asked me.

"87 sir."

"Very good, I could have sworn you were day-dreaming!"

"Bella, Alice says there will be a pre-party family gathering, where everyone will give you their presents." Edward told me.

" Yay! I can't wait!"

The rest of the day dragged by, with the exception of gym, in which I actually scored 1 point, amazing, I know!

Finally, after what seemed like months, I was on my way to the Cullen's. Edward refused to ride in my Farari, so, (since there's no way I could get there on my own) I had to suffer through his old compact.

"Bella, we're so glad you could come!" teased Emmet from the couch.

"Over here darling. Open mine first!" said mo- Esme.

"Okay!" I giggled, bouncing over to her and taking her present. I sliced my finger on the wrapping paper, cutting it off.

"Crap, that's gonna leave a mark!" I mumbled.

**Sorry the chapters are so short, I just keep finding so many cliff-hangers! Send reviews, I luv constructive criticism! **


	4. NOT TWINKIE!

**Sorry its been a while, but there's practically 0 reviews :(**

**don't own twilight, Edward, Bella,blah blah blah**

Hmm, this _could_ be a problem.

"OK, everyone settle down, its only a little blood,"

I said as their carpet turned dark red from my finger.

"And anyway you guys just ate, right?" I asked as I stared into Edwards pitch black eyes.

"Nope, but I'm about to!" declared Jasper happily,as he bit into my parrot, Twinkie,who had a paper cut from carrying messages around. Carlisle couldn't bare to part with message pigeons, but Esme said they were to dirty, so I loaned him my afore mentioned parrot, Twinkie.

"Bella, I'm so sorry! I know how much you loved Twinkie!" Edward proclaimed, and so he did, for I often told him that if Twinkie was as rich as Edward, I would be dating him. We were steady for 5 years.

"NO! NOT TWINKIE!"

I screamed, taking a dive for him. But alas, I was to late. Twinkie was already dead by the time I got to him.

"No Bella!" shouted Edward, as he ripped me away from Twinkies dying body, saving me from death-by-Jasper, and getting mangle himself.

"Bella, in light of all that has happened to you, I'm sure you want to open your present, don't you?" asked Carlisle.

"No. I must avenge my loved one. THIS IS FOR YOU, TWINKIE!" I screamed, jumping through the window.

**Sorry its short again, but I just luv this part!**


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